Everybody's asking, what's happening with the Mercedes? A fair question.

I collect garage sale snapshots. Sometimes whole photo albums, sometimes a single photo. I found this photo a few years ago and it has been on my refrigerator ever since. Everyday it reminds me of the potential of what today could be.

The Mercedes had not run since 1984. I got it marginally running soon after I took possession. But there is a huge delta between loping along, barely idling in the driveway and driving to the malt shop. Not to diminish the excitement of idling in the driveway. It is so exciting, I feel for individuals that do not have a hobby that results in a slowly exploding internal combustion engine. Planting a tree or knitting a scarf is certainly a worthwhile activity, but to nudge a 20 year dormant engine back to life is a singular experience that could only be topped by barnstorming.

About 2 weeks ago, I had collected all the required components to fix the laundry list of outstanding issues. A carburator rebuild kit that I steadfastly had been avoiding, a metric bubble flaring tool to repair the broken (by me) brake hard lines and enough brake fluid to fill the entire system. I woke early and decided today was the day to drive the Mercedes around the block.

7 o'clock that evening, I did it. I drove it around the block. The tires were underinflated but the tie rod ends were so shot I figured that 10 psi tires would not affect handling dramatically. It was dark and there are no headlights. The trans linkage bushing is gone so the shifting is rather deliberate. The brakes were not bled as I was a solo mechanic without a fancy brake bleeder but they did stop the car after about ten vigorous pumps of the pedal. The engine ran but the accellator pump rod was broken and the float was full of holes. I would not say the Mercedes is ready for the Hoopty Invitiational. There is no exhaust system, so the little four cylinder that could sounds extremely racey.

Like a barnstormer, the car stopped running at least twelve times. I was so busy madly stomping the brakes that I had no time to worry about the lack of headlights. I would estimate top speed at 15mph, which I assure you, was ten times more exhilarating than driving the Puch to the polling place. The 1961 Mercedes 190b "Aviary Roof" Ponton Body Sedan was so loud that neighbors came outside to see what had gone wrong. If it was not such a fine looking automobile, I would have been embarassed as I needed to restart the engine four times before I cleared their property lines. Sawing back and forth on the wheel, it took extreme vigilance to keep the Mercedes in the correct lane.

Truly, one of the finest days in hot rodding history. I am considering driving it across the country in this state. Circling small towns several times to create some excitement, then retreating to a nearby cornfield to give kids 10 cent rides.

Mystery Flashlight Solved!

Thanks to intrepid readers smarter than myself, it appears the mystery flashlight is solved. We got the tip to search for "Taschenlampe" on ebay Germany. It is a police torch and the filters served some sort of practical, policing purpose. Check out those elegant filter sliders on either side of the lens. Fucking fancy. The police provenance answers why it is of such high quality, but the Buster Brown mystery remains.

The flashlight above is for sale on ebay.de right now for 5 euros. Get a garage sale boardgame and make your own! But make sure to send me a photo and my royalty payment. I'm not picky, I collect most everything.

The Utility Aspect

Lots of activity at the Hooptyrides garage. For maximum protection, the prized 1964 Chevrolet Chevelle Malibu 283 Stationwagon has been wrapped in a protective bubble boy of top quality plastic sheeting. The Chevelle is a solid number 3 car. A 15 footer. People who don't know anything about cars praise it, as it is chrome, red and white flashy like a firetruck and to be fair, it looks best when it is speeding by, like a firetruck.

Serious car people look down the long slab side and try to think of something nice to say as they consider the wavy bodywork and side window rust.

'Original hub caps, huh?' or 'Nice two spoke wood sport steering wheel', when people are complimenting your steering wheel, something has gone wrong.

But, when it is under plastic, at twilight, it could be a Concours quality restoration - though few cars at Pebble Beach have a 'Bowlers Have A Ball' license plate frame.

Another reasonably satisfied customer! The OC is no longer safe, as Kim is swarming and destroying at speeds approaching 30 MPH. Besides the Puch merits previously mentioned, we can report that the Puch fits handily in a Mazda MPV minivan (after the squeegee, wisk broom and second seat were stored.) As you can see, Kim has already found an alternate use for the replacement rear view mirror.

Ice Cream Truck For Sale!

Partial to the utility vehicle, I am particularly fond of the adapted to new use vehicle. Who knows what the original purpose of this stepvan was, but it is a good looking ride. I always thought this would be a practical way to go garage saling. Though there would be some delays, it would be a self-funded activity. Add to that the ease of access through the open door and you really have something.

Ad says price is negotiable, but where do you even start?

Absolutely exhilarating and terrifying at 28 MPH! The Puch!

Everybody has been asking... What's new with the Puch? Is it running? Are you riding? Crashing? Weeping?

In a word, WOW! What an exemplary machine. Though modest, it is delightfully Teutonic and over engineered. The Puch does not know and will not consider itself, 'just a moped'. 150 MPG, Austrian pedal motorcycle with headlight, tail light, brake light, reflectors for safety, emblazoned proudly 'Puch' in at least 20 places, the Puch makes no excuses.

I replaced the fuel petcock, the fuel line, added an inline fuel filter, replaced the carburator jet (there is only one) and vigorously flushed the fuel tank. It still stinks a little like bad gas and I would expect the inline fuel filter will need to be replaced semi-regularly. Also, the rear view mirror was broken, so I replaced that. And, the On/Off kill switch was broken beyond repair, so I replaced that was well. The Puch quality is never more apparant than when replacing components. The new On/Off switch works and will work for years, but what a miserable piece of junk. Just what you would expect from a Chinese import On/Off switch, which makes me wonder about the new Chinese mopeds.

The Puch runs like a damn dream. I have long espoused the merits of relative speed. Sure, a Geo Metro only gets up to 50mph but try driving it with cruise control set for 50 through a small downtown shopping district. And a golf cart may only reach 15 mph, but try the giant slalom in an underground garage. When you hit a parking stop at 15 mph, it feels plenty fast.

At 28 mph, the Puch handles capably and as it is supposed to, but it still scares the shit out of me. As I ride around my neighborhood, I feel like a really Easy Rider until I realize my feet are still on the pedals.

Swarm and Destroy!

What a great looking moped! The 1978 Puch Maxi-Luxe Hi Torque. 2-Stoke power means Hi Torque and honestly, who would want lo torque? Sissified sissies.

I am absolutely enamoured with the Moped Army. Their motto is Swarm and Destroy and following the absolutely undeserved Western Herald editorial slamming the Moped Army, I would suspect Mr. Peter Schinkai will soon be a) swarmed and b) destroyed. Lo Torque Mr. Schinkai.

I am selling the 1978 Puch Maxi-Luxe Hi Torque for $400. I am somewhat negotiable and trade for the all sorts of things.

Disclosures:

- Runs very fantastic
- Very nicely cleaned up, comparatively
- Very very complete and original. On/Off switch, fuel petcock and rear view mirror replaced but originals (broken) included
- The tires are a little dry and probably need to be replaced soon. Plenty of tread but, for safety, they should be replaced
- Not perfectly clean, but pretty damn clean. I did not chrome polish the wheels between each spoke. This is a very intimate labor of love and is best left to the new owner. It would be presumptuous for me to be so familiar. Also, there are various odds and ends that could be cleaner. Should we strike a deal, come for an afternoon and I will provide all technical assistance and provide cleaning supplies (chrome polish, 0000 steel wool, LA's Awesome, etc.)
- Includes original manual and warranty and service book (purchased 5/17/79 from Moped Mania [they also sold Vespa, Motobecane and Batavus])
- Book carrier, reflectors, original seat with no rips or tears, beautiful cast aluminum Puch gas cap with built-in 2-cycle oil measuring cup, speedometer, full fenders, full suspension - front and rear, working lights, working horn, motor or pedal, about 1200 original miles, original California Bicycle Registration Permit stickers, classic Puch green and has never been crashed by sensitive poets.
- Some minor paint loss, here and there
- Some chrome pitting. I polished the chrome and it turned out great, but there is some residual pitting. Very presentable. As you are enjoying 150 mpg, you will learn to love the character. This is no Johnny Come Lately, this is a champion for the ages!
- Yes, that is a good looking dog in the background, but she is not available for purchase or trade. Notably absent, the little dog is scared to death of the moped.

All instructions necessary for successful operation helpfully printed on the moped at appropriate locations! Smart!

I get carried away when talking about the Puch. And my favorite feature is the built-in contingency plan. If you break down, you can pedal (albeit, laboriously) to your destination. To be fair, this is true of all mopeds. But, do they all look like the Puch at only $400? Puch green?

Do yourself a favor and be sure to check out the Moped Army race kick-off.

The very coolest people on earth look even cooler on a 1978 moped.

This is the perfect example of what to buy. If you are thinking, "Maybe I will start going to garage sales, but what would I buy?" this is an awfully good starting point. Despite low purchase price, many items skyrocket as you fix them up as even the most minor components quickly eclipse your best bargain. But this Puch is a real garage find. Very complete.

Astute readers will note the cleanliness of the carburator. Before I clean up the Puch, I want to be sure I am up and running without issue or concern. Therefore, I have removed the 1/4" of lacquered gasoline from the carburator bowl. I ordered a few parts from, I shit you not, Moped Warehouse. God bless the internet. A new fuel jet, some fuel line, a fuel filter and a new fuel petcock are on their way.

11 reasons why the Puch is so cool:

1. It looks crummy, but it is all surface rust and filth
2. It is all there
3. The color
4. Made in Austria
5. Puch. Sounds like Puke. And it is Puch green.
6. Internal combustion engine
7. The name, Maxi Luxe
8. 2 Stroke!
9. Pedals! If you break down, you can pedal home! Built in contingency plan. Bad ass.
10. Book carrier
11. 150 mpg! Put that in your hybrid pipe and smoke it!

Pages stained with crumpet butter

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about changing my life to a completely different era. Certainly there is precedent for it, as there are any number of people living the lifestyle of a 50's greaser, but I was thinking of a less obvious era. Before I bought the Puch, I thought I would adopt a 1975 Gregg Allman, 1972 Chevy custom van, San Fernando Valley, Hi-Fi, swimming pool contractor lifestyle. Besides aesthetic benefits, the costs would be so low. All avocado blenders and 8-tracks.

Now that I have the Puch, I think I will adopt the 1979 sensitive college student. Occasionally crashing my Puch and throwing myself on the ground crying. Listening to My Aim is True and drinking cheap chianti as fast as I can so I can stick a candle in it to put on my board and concrete block bookshelves. Riding around on my moped and dressing like I was in a Wes Anderson movie.