Friday, January 25, 2013

Alfa Romeo Nightmare Project

My automobile tastes have always been modest. Or, rather, my automobile budget has always been modest. Duesenbergs, Pierce Arrows and Bugattis are more interesting than Ford Mavericks, but of the many restrictions on our ambition, pocketbook often rules.

Lately, I have been drawn to stuff like this. Total nightmare project. Deserves the rotisserie resto, but what would be the bare minimum to be able to drive on the street? Drive train is present, but probably seized. Can you imagine the electrolysis that is happening? Makes a stuck seat post in a ten speed seen like an afternoon snack. Dip the entire block in a Kroil tank for a month.

Such a romantic notion. Geo Metro headlight shells suspended by coat hangers. A white plastic lawn chair from CVS as a drivers seat mounted with L-brackets with drywall screws to the chair and self-tapping sheet metal screws to the swiss cheesed floor boards. Maybe there are no floor boards. Maybe the new floor boards are constructed of pallet wood. Maybe the entire interior is pallet wood. Forget the white plastic chair - build a couple of pallet Adirondack chairs. New grill made of popsicle sticks. Windshield is not a problem. Just wear goggles.

How did this thing end up like this? Mom's new boyfriend was going to restore it and stripped bright work off to prepare for paint? Or a romantic engineer whose ambition out shone their skill and it turned out they were better at taking parts off rather than putting them back on and gave up on the project to spend the rest of their life neglecting their parrot?

Case could be that I already have a car like this, the Stude. Better get to work, better feed the parrot.

Alfa on craigslist