Thursday, January 06, 2005

Grampa's Mercedes

Though it was a single wide trailer, it seemed plenty big to me as a kid. Railroad style with a pair of sidemount doors, I can still remember my grampa yelling to get inside before the mosquitos did - this despite the yellow bug bulb that cast such a sickly orange glow though seemed to deter the mosquitos not one bit. Though not rich, my grandparents had a Mercedes. This is actually their second Mercedes, as the first one was totalled in an accident and my grandmother was so impressed with the integrity of the automobile she declared she would never ride in anything but a Mercedes. For safety. I would love to make the same declaration but my broad love of automobiles precludes me from omitting any marquee - save a few Korean brands.

The fin, lauded by Cadillac, is the thorn in Mercedes' side. I bet I could sell my Curta and get a decent finback Mercedes and have enough left over for a set of Yosemite Sam floormats. Finback Mercedes fill California junkyards with rust free parts, are reasonably reliable and, if the performance is not bristling, it is respectable. I will be lucky if I don't own one by the end of the week.

I am going to start selling the complete automotive solution. A sensible stable of vehicles that will fill every transportation need. For a low monthly payment of $199.95, you will get:

1965 Mercedes 190 Finback Sedan, for fancy occasions. Presentable and will probably get you home.

1987 Toyota Pickup Truck, for effecting change. Honest and will definitely get you home.

1982 Mercedes 300D, for the environment. Biodiesel soybean and will get you home eventually.

1986 Alfa Romeo Spider, for sporting. Exciting, especially as it will never get you home.