The Long Road to the Cover of Make Magazine

Mister Jalopy's Urban Guerilla Drive-In Movie Theater in Make Volume 11

Lots of the folks that write for Make Magazine are bona fide experts in their field and present very refined designs that have evolved from many prototypes. Unfortunately for Make readers, I am not one of those individuals. I am (or have been) an amateur mechanic, power transformer salesman, computer tech support expert, re-engineering consultant, corporate executive, welder, maker, small business owner, database programmer, real estate investor, stove restorer, graphic designer, photographer, author, web designer, tech advisory panel member, woodworker, public speaker, handyman and furniture restorer. I am professional at only two things: garage saling and being an amateur.

As an amateur in all things, I have found great commonalities to approaching subjects as a newbie. I think the greatest skill that could be taught in schools is how to be a professional amateur as that is the single skill set that unlocks everything. Nobody likes to assist a know-it-all, but there are lots of stone killer experts that get a kick out of sharing knowledge with thoughtful individuals that are deeply curious, respectful, have a firm handshake, don't interrupt and will meet your eye.

Glass door hinges seemed like such a clever way to allow the Fresnals to swing for keystone correction. Didn't work - the hinges extended too far in the image area.

As opposed to your vocation, an avocation tends to be a more quiet affair and your failures are mercifully private events. Building for the magazine is more complicated as you need to be able to undo your mistakes and present a cohesive, linear project. If I included all my missteps, the article would be 5 times as long and would make no sense as readers would follow me down so many dead ends that even I would forget where we were going.

• Mister Jalopy's Axiom of Amateurism #1, Retrofixism: Provide a path back. Always build undo buttons. Recoverable mistakes are non-events.

• Retrofixism Corollary #1a : Take 10x photos as you may need those "pre-mistake images" later.

One of 12 Chicken Scratchings Submitted to Make Art Department.
Poor Bastards. Hi Daniel!

The projector article turned out great largely due to the efforts of rockstar technical illustrator Tom Parker. Being that Tom is a maker himself, he was able to work from chicken scratchings to come up with my favorite Make illustration ever. The projector was a barely do-able project for the scope/space of a magazine and it is still not a step-by-step build guide as every projector is different. But, with the detail of the illustration, you can really get your head around how the projector works and how the build comes together. There is no replacement for the lumenlabs site.

Mark's Little Lioness Photo: Mark Frauenfelder

On a complicated project with Maker Faire deadline, I will build it so it works but it may not be refined, explainable, repeatable or article ready. When I got back from Maker Faire, I took it apart and rebuilt to deal with overheating, phantom shadow and light leak issue. That refined version is what appears in the magazine.

One of my two raffle prizes

The cover photo shoot was at Mark and Carla's house which included gracious hospitality, burritos, cold beers and an entertainment revue called Ye Olde Entertainment. The kid's death defying trampoline acrobatics was followed by a raffle in which I won a shiny rock and the button pictured above.

Will cars of today become classics tomorrow?

"Barn Find" 1950 Ferrari 166MM Touring BarchettaA lesson in savage grace.
Photo: Pebble Beach Concourse d'Elegance

Today's Wall Street Journal has an article by Joseph White that asks if any of today's automobiles will become extraordinarily desirable Concourse cars of tomorrow. My opinion was not solicited. Luckily, with the power of the internets, I am free to weigh in without pesky journalistic standards.

The discussion seems to have been prompted by the Pebble Beach debut of a barn find 1950 Ferrari 166MM Touring Barchetta, which makes comparisons quite difficult as any modern car will surely disappoint.

"Will it be a classic? Of course!"

"Like the 1950 Ferrari Barchetta?"

"Well, no. Not like that. A classic, but in a much shittier form."

The Elite
WSJ: Bugatti Veyron, limited number Ferraris and Porsches

Mr J: Of course, these big money, epic performers will always desirable. Will the Veyron be as undeniable as a bat wing Alfa or a Ferrari 250 Testarossa? I don't think so.

Mr. J's Additions: Ford GT, best looking car in 30 years

The Americans
WSJ: Corvette Z06, Pontiac Solstice, Chrylser 300C, Plymouth Prowler, convertible PT Cruiser, forthcoming Challenger, Cadillac CTS-V with the 5.7L, Buick GNX, Viper, Bullitt Mustangs.

Mr J: Corvette Z06, absolutely. Relative rarity coupled with uncompromising performance, plus it's a Corvette. And enough will be parked into telephone poles that they will just get rarer. The Bullitt Mustangs are a good bet, but I think the top end Saleens would be even better.

The sheer number of Dodge Viper posters on teenagers' walls assures the Viper a place in auto history. If you want to see the classics of today, visit the bedrooms of high school auto shop students. For sheer investment, I can't imagine a wiser automotive buy than a Viper GT-2 plexiglass window factory racer.

The rest of them? Forget it. The convertible PT Cruiser? Come on. When the PT Cruiser first came out, zealous retirees would honk to signal that they too had an appreciation of old car styling. I was baking in my overheating hoopty as they beeped their horns from air-conditioned comfort. The absurdity of those moments continues to astound. Classics do not have to be as profound as a Cord coffin nosed art deco masterpiece, but they can't be lies either. The Prowler and PT Cruiser are deceitful.

Mr J Additions: It is no Ferrari, but the Dodge Ram V-10 has brash appeal.

The Europeans
WSJ: Original Audi TT, new Beetle and Mini Cooper S.

Mr J: The Mini Cooper S is a charmer and backs it up with performance. It is a rehash of a prior champion, but it is done so well. There were talks about building a lightweight boy racer limited edition and that would be enough to make a lasting impression.

The Beetle and TT will be in design books along with Michael Graves teapots and Alessi cork screws, but they are too plentiful to enter the big leagues. They don't feel like enthusiast cars.

Mr J Additions: AMG Mercedes Hammer, 16v Scirocco, BMW M3, Renault Turbo R5, Lancia Rally 037, Audi Quattro, Land Rover Defender

The Japanese
WSJ: Datsun 240z

Mr J: The 240z was such a dramatic shift from Japanese cars of the time that I think it has a good shot at becoming a classic.

Mr J Additions: They missed the mark here big time. Add the Mitsubishi EVO, WRX-Sti, Skyline and Twin Turbo Supra, just to start. Like historic hot rods and muscle cars that were abused beyond recognition before being cut up for parts, there are some groundbreaking turbo CRXs and the like that should be stocked away in moth balls today.

Can there be future classics?

Jim Hall is quoted and addresses the issue of maintenance as it relates to computer electronics. That is a real concern, but I suspect if a car becomes a classic and the market incentive is there, somebody will be able to repair the computers without too much concern. He goes on to suggest there would be a market for a 'universal computer' that could be 'plug and play' to keep these aging cars running. Well, I agree there would be a market, but I have my doubts about the feasibility of a universal plug and play computer. Plus, auto manufacturers are now rolling out encrypted systems protected with a 64 bit key. If you can't open your car's computer, do you own it?

A more damning issue is the sheer quantity of plastic in modern automobiles. Sure, my 1964 Chevelle wagon has plastic components but they are largely in a supporting role. In modern cars, plastic is elevated from trim and is sprinkled generously throughout the drive train. On my 1987 Mercedes 300 TD, these plastic components have become so porous and brittle that disassembly means breakage. Between the smog, under hood heat, and the corrosive petroleum products that power automobiles, all the plastic is coming apart at the same time.

The Mister Jalopy Surefire Future Classic Design School

Epitomize Something New - Elegant roadster has been done. So has exotic wedge and brute muscle car. Quirky French car for peasants carrying wine and cheese has been covered. Find a new idea to get across. Not a new idea in cars but a new idea in the world - like teenage revolution in the 60's or proletariat Swedish safety.

Longer Names - The Fiat Abarth Double Bubble Zagato Coupe. The Ferrari 250 GT California Spyder Long Wheel Base. If your babysitter had an idea for the hubcaps, mention her in the name.

Unbelievably Elegant and Savage Design - This is an easy one. Monkeys can do this. Look at the Ferrari at the top of the page and figure out how it appears so elegant and fine boned while still having the demeanor of a bloodthirsty savage. Decipher that simple formula, update it in a respectful way, carve a many-cylindered engine block out of a single chunk of billet and, with the hammer of Buddha, pound aluminum fenders over Italian stumps that have Enzo's initials carved in the base. Eat prosciutto for lunch and truffles for dinner, bathe in cognac, drink espressos during victory laps, road test at midnight, change tires for thunderstorm wet practice, whisk baguette crumbs from the oxblood leather seats with a boar bristle brush, keep sterling flasks of courage in the glove box, smoke cigars with the commitment of Mark Twain and feed your chickens at dawn.

PT Cruiser Convertible, indeed.

Why I listen to Mark Frauenfelder very closely...

Sure, it is an Internet tip book. And who needs an Internet tip book when you have the Internet. What tip could not be found with the power of Google?

1. Mark thinks of questions that you have not thought to type at your favorite search engine. If you don't have the question, it is very difficult to find the answer. Every time I pick up Rule the Web, I learn something I didn't know I needed to know. How do you hide a website from the Google crawlers? How do I add forums to my entertaining Internet presence? How do I record podcasts for free? How can I add a "Suggest a Site" form to my Internets?
   
2. Mark has seen everything. Since he edits boingboing, every Internet toadstool has come across his virtual desk. And when you have seen all the toadstools, you know the chanterelle when you see it. Mere mortals can not distinguish the great from the very good without Mark's Internet world view.
   
3. Mark is probably smarter than you. Definitely smarter than me.
   
4. Mark has accomplished something that only a handful of individuals have been able to do: make a comfortable living from something he loves. Now further winnow that small group to the individuals who make a comfortable living blogging. This book has secrets. Blogging secrets. Big fat blogging secrets. Giant money making blogging secrets. Sure, you could rule the web, but who gives a shit? With Internet ruling ability and $1, you can eat a regrettable meal at Taco Bell. This book was incorrectly named as it should have been called "Mark Frauenfelder's Big Hairy Money Making Blogging Secrets."

Disclaimer: Mark is a friend. And he is my editor at Make. I wouldn't have written my first article for Make if it were not for Mark and I certainly wouldn't have written my twentieth.

Buy the dirt-ass cheap Rule the Web and hold your own at the Internet World Championships.