Friday, February 13, 2009

Hand Lettering

When I saw the Von Dutch-lettered gold Snap-On toolbox at the Brucker auction, I immediately bought myself a can of fire engine red One Shot enamel paint with the plan to hand letter everything I own. Well, that was a few years ago and I never did get around to trying it out. Until now.

As I know some fellas with stone cold lettering skills, the fact that I am willing to display my extraordinarily amateurish first attempt borders on disgraceful. An insult, if you will, to their epic talent and my stunning lack of the same. But, as amateurs, the only thing we have going for us is our brazen willingness to try.

So, there they are. First, I did HAMMER. In case the hammer forgot it was a hammer. Or, I suppose, if I forgot it was a hammer. I immediately regretted that goofy H.

Then I did SMALL HAMMER, which is, arguably, my most successful attempt. The skill is no better than the others, but it was a better design.

Then ANOTHER HAMMER which probably could have survived without that trailing R but I do like the stacked M's.

Finally, I did 1 LAST HAMMER. As you can see I attempted a rudimentary pinstripe. Though I am fond of hot rod flourish-y pinstriping, my goal was more of a locomotive style stripe of outlining the lines of the object. Though not accomplished, it is successful enough to try again. I always thought it would be cool to outline every contour of a black engine block with a bright green stripe.

When I have watched sign painters and pinstripers, I always thought the way they brace their hands like tripods to steady themselves looked very awkward. I would pretend I was painting, trying to replicate how they had their hands, but it just didn't feel workable. Well, after 3 minutes of painting I found myself doing the same exact thing - unconsciously.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Chevrolet COE for Suckers

Chevrolet COE, Highway 126, between Fillmore and the 5

If your name is Oliver Stanley Tommygun, you won't even need to paint the door! Or Oksana S. Tuxedo - she wouldn't have to paint the door either.

Having driven by this truck 20 times, I finally had to stop, take picture and see what sort of a scam they were perpetuating on the For Sale sign. As I have a new steely resolve to resist any time/money sucking projects, I merely stopped as a curiosity. Just for kicks. Just to see what people are up to in this crazy bing-bong world. Just to see what sort of bullshit values people are able to convince themselves of in that moment when Sharpie meets For Sale sign, when they have given up but picture some city slicker coming by with a Halliburton case full of cash.

$4000! Ah, yes. I read on and it did give me moment of pause. I thought it said, "Really Strong Runner" and I thought, "huh. Ain't that the pickles?" Somebody actually spent the time to rebuild that dried out old Rochester carburetor, replaced all the brake lines and wheel cylinders, bought new brake shoes, replaced the master cylinder, rebuilt the front end, put on new shocks, adjusted the valves and swapped out the water pump when the bearing sounded like a jet engine. All this assuming the engine wasn't seized. Then, I read closer...

"Really Strong Fixer"

Ha! Not me. Not this time! I learned my lesson!