Alfa Romeo Nightmare Project

My automobile tastes have always been modest. Or, rather, my automobile budget has always been modest. Duesenbergs, Pierce Arrows and Bugattis are more interesting than Ford Mavericks, but of the many restrictions on our ambition, pocketbook often rules.

Lately, I have been drawn to stuff like this. Total nightmare project. Deserves the rotisserie resto, but what would be the bare minimum to be able to drive on the street? Drive train is present, but probably seized. Can you imagine the electrolysis that is happening? Makes a stuck seat post in a ten speed seen like an afternoon snack. Dip the entire block in a Kroil tank for a month.

Such a romantic notion. Geo Metro headlight shells suspended by coat hangers. A white plastic lawn chair from CVS as a drivers seat mounted with L-brackets with drywall screws to the chair and self-tapping sheet metal screws to the swiss cheesed floor boards. Maybe there are no floor boards. Maybe the new floor boards are constructed of pallet wood. Maybe the entire interior is pallet wood. Forget the white plastic chair - build a couple of pallet Adirondack chairs. New grill made of popsicle sticks. Windshield is not a problem. Just wear goggles.

How did this thing end up like this? Mom's new boyfriend was going to restore it and stripped bright work off to prepare for paint? Or a romantic engineer whose ambition out shone their skill and it turned out they were better at taking parts off rather than putting them back on and gave up on the project to spend the rest of their life neglecting their parrot?

Case could be that I already have a car like this, the Stude. Better get to work, better feed the parrot.

Alfa on craigslist

Alfa Romeo - Street Racer Starter Kit

I like the color, week-old smashed yam.

Though period, I am not into the wheels. Fake Panasports, lowered, remove bumpers, bullet side mirrors, sheet metal Krylon pop rivet spoiler, old racing seats, rear seat removed, cage wrapped with hot water pipe insulation and 3M professional electrical tape, out of date 5 point harnesses, mismatched era Stewart Warner and Lucas gauges, JC Whitney wink mirror, windshield wipers removed, resist putting Alfa stickers on rear quarter windows, parked on the shoulder of the hairpin on Mulholland...

Will be even better when the rusty trunk lid is replaced with included - sure to be wrong color - replacement. I dig. 

On eBay, no affiliation.

Respect the Corona

This dude is a mobile mechanic that plys his trade in front of the Autozone on Figueroa. Respect.

Van Nuys Boulevard, Part II

Sweet fancy Moses. 

Found at Wild Bunch car club

1931 Ford Montana Mail Carrier

 At Bring a Trailer

Compelling VW Bus Advertisement

Rolls Royce Rally Car - 1981 Paris Dakar DNF

Christian Dior sponsored Rolls Royce Rally Car for sale, tipped by thingsmagazine

David Jordan Williams - Van Nuys Boulevard Cruising, 1974

Details and situation remains fuzzy, but I remember riding with a friend of my dad's in his mild custom van on a dirt road. He was driving shirtless, Coors in hand and eating a pickled pig's foot. Though Southern California, I can't place the scene. Maybe around Sespe or something like that? It was some sort of party, to be sure, as we kept coming to creek crossings which attracted the flip-flopped and bikini-topped. Listening to Fleetwood Mac.

As unbelievable as it sounds, my mom and step-dad would take me cruising on Van Nuys Blvd. A few passes and a burger at Bob's Big Boy.

When I was a kid, I thought this is what it would be like to be an adult. Of the losses, I would say nothing greater than the end of rabbit fur jacket.

David Jordan Williams portfolio of Van Nuys Blvd, 1974

Approved!

From Coop, source unknown

Ferrari for the Ambitious, Unemployed and Unemployable

What a bizarre scene. Click the photos, they are large. Check out all that crap in the background. Forget the Ferrari, how much is that yellow shopping bag?

I was thinking at lunch, that I am too old to become a professional athlete. Also, I don't have the natural ability, killer instinct or competitive zeal. But, I thought, perhaps falconry. If I dedicated myself to it every day as if it was my job, perhaps I could compete at an international level. Not sure if falconry even exists anymore.

The Ferrari is sorta the same thing. With a Harbor Freight mill and unlimited time, could a dedicated amateur get this Ferrari back on the road? Needs brakes? Mill new wheel cylinders from scratch! That's what Bugatti would do. Get the shoes re-lined at Valley Friction, that is easy. Bend your own hard lines and use a handful of brass adapters to hook up Astro van soft hoses. No problem! Stitch the soft parts on your sewing machine and if it is missing the glove box door, just whittle a new one from wood! Don't know how to whittle? Of course not! But this is your new job, remember. You will learn.

More time than money. I don't know that one lifetime is enough for the falconry and the Ferrari, but it sure would be a hell of a combination.

Ferrari, at auction, no affiliation